Not doing well
I need to vent about some things that make me insecure and scared.
So my girlfriend Sophie is currently 4,730km away from me at the moment, while I’m in Singapore with my father preparing to work in his company and Law firm, Soph is in Biloela (Western Queensland) on her “Vac Work” for her Uni degree and making LOTS of money. I feel like I’m being left behind by her, she gets excellent marks and is making a little under $1,000 a week while I’m getting average marks and making $0 a week. I know it’s very selfish to think so but Sophie is excelling so much more then me and leaving me behind somewhat by all the success she’s having. Plus she’s made a new male friend “Hugo” out in her new position, I’m for the most part ok with all her male friends as she is in a very male dominated field and degree but I can’t help getting jealous.
Then there’s the whole other issue of our years in University, I’m going into second year and she’s going into her 4th (penultimate year) which means the end of next year, she will graduate and be moving out from the city into the sticks to work. A graduate position in her field of work can make easily $100k a year while I’ll still be stuck working a shitty retail job and studying in 3rd year. Therefore, the relationship has a time limit set on it knowing Sophie I know she will move out to the sticks and work and not do FIFO (fly in fly out), she’s too over qualified to not take an incredible position and a high paying salary. Of course I’m over the moon for her, but I can’t help resent her because I am so unexperienced and now she’s becoming out of my league. In her line of work she will begin making a large salary straight away with the opportunity of traveling to exotic mining countries like South America and Africa.
The distance right now is really killing me because it’s very expensive to fly out to where she is and I know I will only be able to be with her for a weekend every month, I just don’t want us to be broken by distance because she is truly an incredible girl.
I’m sad, selfish, scared, immature, insecure and pathetically in love with a girl 5,000km away from me.